Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls not knowing about money and figures is a myth. Girls start to outspend boys before puberty–and they manage to maintain this lead until death or an ugly credit manager, whichever comes first. Males are born with a closed fist. Girls are born with the left hand cramped in a position the size of an American Express card. Whenever a girl sees a sign reading, “Sale, Going Out of Business, Liquidation, ” saliva begins to form in her mouth, the palms of her hands perspire and the pituitary gland says, “Go, Mama.” In the male, it is quite a different story. He has a gland that follows a muscle from the right arm down to the base of his billfold pocket. It's called “cheap.” Girls can slam a door louder, beg longer, turn tears on and off like a faucet, and invented the term, “You don't trust me.” So much for “sugar and spice and everything nice” and “snips and snails and puppydog tails. . Erma Bombeck
If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.
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Marilyn Monroe
Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time) Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time) Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time) One time. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>When I met ya girl my heart when knock (knock knock) Now them butterflies in my stomach...
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Justin Bieber
Stop trying to be less of who you are. Let this time in your life cut you open and drain all of the things that are holding you back.
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Jennifer Elisabeth
I can do this… I can start over. I can save my own life and I’m never going to be alone as long as I have stars to wish on and people to still love.
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Jennifer Elisabeth
Not knowing you can't do something, is sometimes all it takes to do it.
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Ally Carter
More Quotes By Erma Bombeck
When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"...
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
